‘Fear Thy Neighbour’

I’m sat here watching Fear Thy Neighbour which is a stark contrast from the UK’s Neighbour from Hell, and it strikes me that every situation seemed to have been escalated by guns. Now I’m not damning anyone’s right to bear arms but I can’t imagine a scenario in Channel 5’s typical demonization of the working class show reel, that wouldn’t go completely tits up with a Glock.

Hell, in the US show, most of the contributors are taking part some ten years or so after the events with one at least dead or in prison. Dom Littlewood’s show often takes place not even a year later and while wholly less interesting, Mr and Mrs X are still alive and well, still disgruntled with Mr and Mrs Y across the street. It’s hard to comprehend the actual physical danger in these peoples’ lives compared to ‘you built your fence to close’.

I have no doubt there’s any less danger in the UK than the US which perhaps has as many unhinged strangers next door. Our problem in the neighbourhood where I lived in was the ‘hoody’ gang who had planted themselves in the playground just in front of the house which was regularly set on fire. As a kid, I was terrified but when I return to the family home now, I see the same gang and its new members: kids I used to yell at as a prefect, and now they look as scary as horror movie’s bonus features disk. Would that scenario be different if those little fuckers where packing more than socks down the front of their tracksuit bottoms?

On the flip side of the argument if we all had those guns there’d be less of a threat. It’s almost as if for everyone, our homes are our own nation with foreign policies and different cultures even. Down to whether or not we choose to eat meat or even smoke in the garden rather than the house. This is where I understand the Second Amendment because the phrase that our homes are our castles is totally an understatement because they are at the most primal level, our nests where we choose to keep our families, our legacies, and precious belongings. If we had guns in the UK that arsehole kid outside probably wouldn’t have thrown crap at the windows and perhaps my parents wouldn’t have banged on their door. Say what you will for the second amendment, if it does anything, it sure does promote some level of politeness.

‘Fear Thy Neighbour’

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